and now the killer video that kills you seven days after you watched it, we're the only station that has it and we are showing it all night

From IMDb:

Tom Cruise may be planning to follow in the footsteps of John Travolta and make a movie based on the ideas of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. According to the London Daily Star, Cruise has already cast former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham, the wife of soccer star David Beckham, to star in the movie, titled The Thetan in the role of an "alien bride." In Hubbard's thinking, "the thetan" is the spiritual part of man that advances from one lifetime to the next, inhabiting the minds and bodies of generations of individuals. According to the tabloid, Cruise is financing the movie on his own after the major studios rejected it. Travolta's $73-million movie based on Hubbard's sci-fi novel Battlefield Earth was a major flop, grossing just $21 million at the domestic box office.

I hope this is Straight to DVD part 2

TTMMS

Things That Made Me Smile part 8 (maybe, can't remember so let's just go with 8, ok?)
This news story. It's being reported all over but most of the reports are leaving out the best quote from Evel - "That video that Kanye West put out is the most worthless piece of crap I've ever seen in my life, and he uses my image to catapult himself on the public," the 68-year-old daredevil said Tuesday.
I had just taken a sip of my drink when this came on the TV and I almost sprayed it all over the coffee table.

Saucer of milk over here, part 1 in a series I'm going to call : Straight to DVD.
This.
For about 2 years Vin Diesel was everywhere, on all the talk shows, in all the magazines. What went wrong? Apart from the not very good acting, I mean. It's not like Hollywood really cares if you can act, after all Martin Lawrence, Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schnieder keep getting work.
Anyway, Vin, (of course he reads this, wha'daya mean?) I know times are hard but did you even read the plot for this one?
Babylon A.D.
Plot Outline: Veteran-turned-mercenary Thoorop (Diesel) takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to China. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah.