Father Jack Hackett: What's that gobshite doing on the television?

Yet another version of the TV show Big Brother starts tonight. As usual I will be avoiding it like the plague. I have watched a total of maybe 30 minutes of BB over the years it has been on and really, I think the barrel is dry, stop scraping it. Please stop. I'm not the only one who wants it gone.
There are many reason why I hate the show. The way it tries so hard to be controversial, the phony psychological hype and the way some people get when it's on. They can't believe I don't watch it, and imply that I'm missing out on the event of the decade by not joining in. These people have no interest in the real live humans, barely a 'good morning' out of them, but when it comes to watching a bunch of fame obsessed freaks, everything is fascinating.
"would you like to see my photos of skydiving over the Great Wall of China?"
"not now, I'm watching some chickens peck the ground and a bloke walk around an inflatable pool for 10 minutes"

I realise that getting rid of BB will leave a gap in TV schedules so I have some suggestions.
Most of the best and not-so-good books have already been made into film or television but there is more out there than Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Bridget Jones, Catch 22 or the Great Gatsby.
So, let's start with the inspiration for BB, 1984 by Orwell, which of his other books can we use?
Keep the Aspidista Flying - working in a secondhand book shop, maybe not.
Animal Farm - not sure how it would work as as TV show. So moving on to other classic novels, To Kill a Mockingbird, been done.
Gone With the Wind, done.
Watership Down, I'm with Paul-Merton on this one, it should be called Watered Down Shite. I tried to read it many times, and found it to be a very powerful sedative. Also not sure of the televisual potential, dress people in bunny suits and film them trying to cross a busy road? Could work.
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland could also work, get some fame obsessed nobodies to drink and eat substances that mess with their heads and bodies.
So classic literature is not so rich in pickings.
How about - Your Fifteen Minutes Are Up? In this show 'celebrities' have to explain why they are famous. If they are deemed to be famous just- because- then thay get send to an island. And that's it. Not filmed on the island, just left there. The first contestants will be Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Melissa Rivers, Jordan , any of the Backstreet-boys, you get the idea.
It could run and run.